Erasmo is an Army veteran who served two traumatic deployments in Iraq in the 2000s. He and his wife, also in the Army, eventually retired from military service to build a new life together. Both carried the weight of PTSD, but over time they found moments of healing and growth. About ten years ago, Erasmo’s wife was diagnosed with cancer and passed away tragically, leaving him to raise their children while grieving the love of his life.
Last year, Erasmo took part in KAP therapy for veterans, a group ketamine-assisted psychotherapy series that became a turning point in his healing journey. His experience brought immediate relief, clarity, and renewed purpose — and the benefits continue to unfold in his life today.
Thank You Life is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit on a mission to revolutionize mental healthcare and help the world heal by eliminating the financial barriers to psychedelic therapy. To learn more, visit www.thankyoulife.org.
“After my wife died, I had to re-learn how to live. I had to re-learn how to be a person. If it wasn’t for my kids, I wouldn’t have been able to keep going. I wished I had died instead of her.” -Erasmo
Read: The Day My Wife Died, I Died Too — Finding Healing Through KAP Therapy for Veterans
Erasmo discusses some of the trauma he experienced during his military service, as well as the struggle of trying to reintegrate back into civilian life with PTSD after retirement. He then shares about the unimaginable heartbreak of watching the love of his life slowly die from cancer, and the impact that her death had on him. Erasmo then begins to describe how he was serendipitously led to be able to participate in this Group KAP series with other veterans, and he goes into detail about what his experiences were like during those treatments and group therapy sessions.
“Being in a group of veterans, we shared an understanding of the struggles of each person. The camaraderie developed with the group of us. That was a big part of the healing. It was a shared experience, a co-creation of a circle of healing.”
What improvements have you experienced in your PTSD symptoms through KAP?
Erasmo: Most of the time us humans are operating from a base level of fear. Mostly all of humans’ actions and ways of interacting are through a veil of fear. The KAP has dramatically improved the symptoms associated with PTSD in my life by helping me to be less fearful of everyday life situations. It has helped me to regain the desire for communal interactions.
How has KAP affected your social life and connections with others?
Erasmo: The KAP also connected me with like-minded individuals who are wanting to heal and live better lives, just as I am. Through this group format, the healing is amplified, and we are able to assist each other in observing emotional pain that needs attention and integration.
What role did financial assistance from Thank You Life play in your ability to access KAP treatment?
The financial assistance from Thank You Life was imperatively necessary for the facilitation of this KAP experience. Without the financial assistance from Thank You Life, I absolutely would not have been able to participate in this beautiful, life changing experience. Thank you, Thank You Life!!
About Normalize Psychedelics
Normalize Psychedelics is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) working to transform public perception of psychedelic medicine through real stories of healing. Our mission is to collect 1,000 powerful testimonials from individuals whose lives have been transformed by psychedelic experiences. By sharing these authentic voices, we aim to reduce stigma, advance the conversation around mental health, and expand our understanding of wellness.
Your donation will help us amplify these important stories and create lasting change. Every contribution, whether $5 or $500, directly supports our work to document and share these transformative experiences. As a registered 501(c)(3), all donations are tax-deductible. Join us in building a future where psychedelic healing is better understood and accepted
Make a Donation
Your donation will help us publish more personal stories involving psychedelics to transform public opinion, reduce stigmas, and redefine wellness. It can also help self lives.
Susannah Rose Stokes, a former Marine officer and co-founder of Metamorphosis Ventures, illustrates the power of psychedelic medicine through her own transformative journey. Her story begins in a world molded by trauma—personal, familial, and systemic—and evolves into one of deep healing and purpose.
Watch: I Was A Marine Officer, Then Psychedelics Transformed Me
“Plant medicine didn’t just heal my wounds—it showed me the roots of my pain and helped me pull them out. It gave me the tools to rebuild myself from the inside out.” -Susannah
Read: Two Deployments in Afghanistan, Disilusionment & Post Traumatic Stress
As a Marine, Susannah was exposed to the harsh realities of war during two deployments in Afghanistan. She entered the military believing she could make a difference, but the devastating truths of conflict shattered her belief system, leaving her grappling with disillusionment, post-traumatic stress, and hypervigilance. She also witnessed her younger sister’s struggles with addiction, borderline personality disorder, and repeated suicide attempts, which deepened her sense of urgency to find a path toward healing.
Susannah’s journey shifted when she transitioned into the corporate world, where she encountered plant medicine through the Burning Man community. Despite initial fears and stigma, her first experience with LSD became a gateway to healing. Under its influence, she felt the interconnectedness of all life—an experience that opened her mind and heart to the possibilities of transformation.
The profound effects of that first trip ignited a drive for deeper exploration. Susannah worked with a range of plant medicines, including MDMA, psilocybin, ayahuasca, and Bufo. Each brought revelations, but it was Bufo—5-MeO-DMT—that initiated a life-altering ego death, pushing her to question her purpose and commit fully to her calling as a healer.
Plant medicine not only transformed Susannah’s life but also enabled her to help others, including her sister. After guiding her sister through two psilocybin ceremonies, Susannah witnessed an extraordinary shift. Her sister, who had once been trapped in darkness, began to embrace light and hope.
“After her journey, my sister—who had tried to end her life multiple times—looked at me and said, ‘For the first time, I choose life.’ It was the moment I knew she was finally free from the darkness that had consumed her.”
Inspired by these experiences, Susannah co-founded Metamorphosis Ventures, which has grown from a single retreat with nine participants to a full-fledged organization dedicated to combining ceremony, coaching, and community. Their approach, the Metamorphosis Method, emphasizes integration—ensuring that participants are supported in translating their psychedelic experiences into lasting change.
What led you to explore plant medicine as a healing modality?
Susannah: I started exploring plant medicine because I began noticing patterns of post-trauma in my own system and in my family. My time in the military, particularly during my deployments to Afghanistan, was a turning point.
I went into the Navy wanting to make a difference, but what I experienced in war caused me to question everything I thought I knew about life, religion, and even the existence of God.
Upon returning from my second deployment, I struggled with hypervigilance, nightmares, and a constant state of anxiety. At the same time, my younger sister was battling addiction and borderline personality disorder, which led to multiple suicide attempts. I realized there had to be another way to heal these invisible wounds. The traditional medical approach—pills and more pills—wasn’t working for me, and it certainly wasn’t working for my sister.
I knew I needed something different, something that could truly transform us on a deeper level.
How has your experience with plant medicine transformed your life?
Susannah: My experience with plant medicine has been nothing short of transformative. When I first tried LSD, I was terrified, like many people are, due to the stigma surrounding it. But my first trip was a profound experience—I felt a deep interconnectedness with the world around me. I saw myself as part of the earth, a living, breathing being connected to all things.
Over time, I worked with various plant medicines—LSD, MDMA, psilocybin, and Bufo—and each experience brought new insights. One of the most powerful moments was during a Bufo ceremony, where I experienced what felt like my own physical death. It forced me to confront everything about my life, my purpose, and the way I was living. That experience led me to realize that my true calling was to help others heal, to create space for people to transform from within.
Working with plant medicine gave me the tools to navigate my own trauma and ultimately led me to leave the corporate world to co-found Metamorphosis Ventures, where we now help facilitate human transformation through psychedelics.
How has this journey impacted your relationships, particularly with your sister and family?
This journey has had a profound impact on my relationships, especially with my sister.
After years of watching her struggle with addiction and suicidal tendencies, I knew plant medicine was the only way to help her.
I began serving her in ceremonial spaces, and after one particularly intense ceremony, she looked at me and said, “I choose life.” That moment was a turning point for both of us.
She stopped attempting suicide, and since then, we’ve been able to build a new kind of relationship—one rooted in healing, connection, and shared transformation. Plant medicine has also healed my family system as a whole. My mother, my team, and even our broader community have all experienced profound shifts.
We now have a deeper connection with each other and with the divine. I truly believe in decentralized spirituality and the power of individuals to heal themselves, because when we heal, we heal together.
Watch the full interview with Susannah Rose Stokes
https://youtu.be/PRm6dqvsxV0
About Normalize Psychedelics
Normalize Psychedelics is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) working to transform public perception of psychedelic medicine through real stories of healing. Our mission is to collect 1,000 powerful testimonials from individuals whose lives have been transformed by psychedelic experiences. By sharing these authentic voices, we aim to reduce stigma, advance the conversation around mental health, and expand our understanding of wellness.
Your donation will help us amplify these important stories and create lasting change. Every contribution, whether $5 or $500, directly supports our work to document and share these transformative experiences. As a registered 501(c)(3), all donations are tax-deductible. Join us in building a future where psychedelic healing is better understood and accepted
Make a Donation
Your donation will help us publish more personal stories involving psychedelics to transform public opinion, reduce stigmas, and redefine wellness. It can also help self lives.
Full Interview with Nate Ostrowski at the bottom of the page
Nathan Ostrowski, a Navy veteran from Tucson and founder of Music With a Purpose Tucson, shares his journey from addiction to recovery and purpose.
For 35 years, he lived in “chaos” without direction, using alcohol and drugs to avoid his issues. During COVID, his fentanyl addiction led to two suicide attempts. After surviving, he committed to change and entered detox.
Watch: Navy Veteran’s Journey with 5-MEO-DMT – Fentanyl, Grieving Loss, & Finding Purpose
For me, once I found that self love, I found my purpose. I couldn’t be more thankful for the Seri tribe and for Mexico. -Nate
Read: How Bufo Alvarius Helped Me Beat Fentanyl Addiction and Create ‘Music With Purpose’
Two months into recovery, Nathan met Michael at a drum circle, leading to his introduction to Bufo (5-MeO-DMT from the Sonoran Desert toad). In Mexico, he had a transformative experience he describes as a “baptismal rebirth,” helping him find peace and self-love. When his sister later died from fentanyl, he turned to medicine again rather than relapsing, processing his grief in just five days.
“The natural DMT. That’s where it is. That’s where you can tap into yourself and who you are and have a different understanding of why we’re here.”
These experiences transformed Nathan from a self-described selfish person to someone dedicated to helping others. He founded Music With a Purpose Tucson, which hosts reggae concerts to fund healing experiences for veterans in Mexico with the Seri tribe. So far, they’ve sent four veterans. Nathan believes people shouldn’t wait for the “right headspace” to seek help, as waiting keeps them trapped. He sees reggae music as inherently healing and unifying, using it to create healing opportunities for others.
Q&A With Nate
How did your addiction escalate to fentanyl and what happened as a result?
When COVID happened, I hit a real rough point, still struggling with addiction and, just let the struggle get the best of me. My addiction led to, you know, me doing fentanyl and getting hooked on that, and that started a real big spiral downhill. I was looking for that one that would just take all my problems away. And in that spiral, the final straw was just, miserable with my life stuck in that cycle and the lowest of lows. So, I tried to take the easy way out and take a bunch and not wake up and, tried it twice. And it’s funny cause every morning I woke up the next morning I was pissed. It was like, damn, it didn’t work.
What was your experience trying Bufo (5-MeO-DMT) for the first time?
Two months into my recovery, I was introduced to Bufo. I put it off for a long time. I kept using life excuses to try to hinder me from what the real work I needed to do. This is one of those things where Mike showed up at the park and said, ‘Hey, we’re going to go do this.’ And I said, ‘Oh shit. Are we? I’m not ready,’ but when are we ever ready? So I’m thankful we went to a park, middle and just a big open field.
I could just imagine if people were looking at us, what they were seeing, like, what are those guys doing? And instantly I knew it’s what I needed. So three weeks later, I was down in Mexico. And that was the life changing moment for me. My most profound experience was on Sunday. We went across to their island and a shark island. And my Sunday ceremony was floating in the ocean. It was one of the most beautiful, unexplainable experiences, but the best way I’d describe it is it was my baptismal rebirth. It was a cleansing of everything that I was running from, and when everything was said and done, I felt peace and I felt self love.
What is Music With a Purpose Tucson and how did it start?
I knew this changed my life. And I talked about previously being selfish. One thing I learned is selfish doesn’t get you anything. Being selfless is more rewarding. And I knew this changed my life. So I’m like, how can I create an opportunity to help other people get this experience? So I’ve always been big into music. I love reggae music. So that’s where the concept of music with the purpose of Tucson came into play. The whole vision is to provide a space where the community at Tucson can come together to help a veteran.
Why do you focus specifically on reggae music for your events?
For me, I’m a reggae guy. For me, reggae brings all walks of life together. That’s one of the beautiful things I get feedback from. You know, at a reggae show I got everything from those hippies to motorcycles to motorcycle clubs. It brings a wide variety and reggae music is about unity. And for me personally, I don’t, there’s not a lot of genres that have that unity. So that’s why I love reggae. Reggae saved my life.
Watch the full interview with Nate Ostrowksi
https://vimeo.com/1061655840?share=copy
About Normalize Psychedelics
Normalize Psychedelics is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) working to transform public perception of psychedelic medicine through real stories of healing. Our mission is to collect 1,000 powerful testimonials from individuals whose lives have been transformed by psychedelic experiences. By sharing these authentic voices, we aim to reduce stigma, advance the conversation around mental health, and expand our understanding of wellness.
Your donation will help us amplify these important stories and create lasting change. Every contribution, whether $5 or $500, directly supports our work to document and share these transformative experiences. As a registered 501(c)(3), all donations are tax-deductible. Join us in building a future where psychedelic healing is better understood and accepted
Make a Donation
Your donation will help us publish more personal stories involving psychedelics to transform public opinion, reduce stigmas, and redefine wellness. It can also help self lives.
Gringo, a 53-year-old Navy veteran, shares his transformative journey with psychedelics, particularly Bufo and ayahuasca, which helped him overcome years of depression, alcoholism, and suicidal tendencies. Introduced to psychedelics by his motorcycle club president, Gringo describes the profound impact of these substances in addressing his mental health challenges. He emphasizes the importance of community support and encourages others struggling with similar issues to explore alternative healing methods. Through his experiences, Gringo champions the potential benefits of psychedelics despite societal skepticism.
What was life like before psychedelics?
My name is Gringo. I’m a 20 year Navy vet. while I was in the Navy, I served on a nuclear powered submarines, retired in 2009. after I retired in 2009, I went into the federal government until I was medically retired two years ago.
I was meant to retire because of a, botched neck surgery and it gave me a little bit of a C5 palsy and I’ve lost a lot of, strength in my, arm right here. So I am no longer, working anymore. Before psychedelics, I lived in a dark place. It was, I was very, dark. It was, I alienated myself from people.
I drank a lot. I self medicated. I would look in the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw. I ended up drinking myself till I liked what I saw. And then when I liked what I saw, I had drank too much. By the time the rest of it caught up, I was pissed off that I was going through this.
I had a lot of suicidal ideations.
I was ready to check out.
How did you find psychedelics?
I found psychedelics through the president of our motorcycle club. He came down to Mexico, down in Cabo one time and he did some ayahuasca. he kept trying to sell it to me, but after you’ve been through the, the mental health program and the VA, it’s hard to think anything helps.
But he convinced me and I went down to Hermosillo and we did, it was an awakening. It wasn’t stuff that I wanted to see, but it was stuff that I needed to see. It changed because it made me aware. I was really scared afterwards. I did a lot of crying. Crying probably about a week every day. I didn’t know how to process it very well because there was a lot of stuff that I couldn’t run from.
I couldn’t run from once I was under the medicine. I couldn’t run from it and it brought to light where my issues were and I’ve never seen anything like that. It left me scared. It left me happy. It’s just, it was just a weird feeling.
How were you able to process difficult emotions?
The family I come from, it’s hard to talk about your problems because we’re under the, we’re under the thought that if you don’t talk about it, you don’t exist and you hide a lot of things. so it was really hard to talk to people, but the guys, my motorcycle club who did it with me, Chris, who has also been interviewed and my president chaos, we all went through it together.
So it was very easy. for me to talk to them because we have all experienced it. It was, it’s not like talking to some doctor or somebody on the street where nobody knows your experience. But the guys who were there with me and we went through it, it was easy for me to ask questions and do the experience with them and have them help me guide me through.
I think the community is very important because people are going through things for different reasons, but you always need support. And one thing that I found in this community is the support everybody, even if you’ve never met somebody and you go through a ceremony, when you come back, it’s like, they’re part of the family, the connection is there.
And it’s somebody who you can express yourself to, and you can talk to, and the stuff that you couldn’t talk to people before you could talk to them because you’ve experienced the connection. You’ve got the connection, you got the bond.
Speak on the stigma surrounding psychedelics
People talk what they don’t understand. You got a lot of people who are the old guard, and they don’t want to believe in this, but this medicine’s been around for thousands of years. It’s not like it just came out of a pharmacy. this has been around. People have used it. Native Americans, Native people to whatever country they’re from, they have their own brand of medicine, spiritual medicine.
People need to try it before they say anything or they make judgment. A lot of people, if you remember last year, they made fun of Aaron Rogers for doing his ayahuasca ceremony. And people were talking around it’s a joke.
And I knew exactly what he was doing, and people want to get run in their mouth and they don’t know what to do. So I was very encouraged by that. We need more people to speak up just to the naysayers because there’s a lot of people who do this medicine.
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Chris Leisinger, a retired army vet and former scout sniper, shares his profound journey of healing from PTSD with the help of psychedelics after 12 years of service and three tours in Iraq. He explains how traditional medications from the VA left him emotionally numb and suicidal until an encounter with psychedelics, facilitated by his motorcycle club, changed his life. Psychedelics helped veteran ditch 16 medications and Chris is here to share his story.
We signed up to defend our country writing a check to include our life. And the VA they just want to throw pharmaceutical meds at you and it makes you emotionally numb.
-Chris
Summary
Chris now collaborates with Mike Manion and Healing Frontline Warriors, helping other veterans through ceremonies in Mexico where they provide free psychedelic treatments. Chris describes personal experiences and transformations and emphasizes the importance of reaching out for help, underscoring that it’s okay not to be okay.
Watch: How Psychedelics Helped a Veteran STOP Depending On Pills
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFK2h3PeIT0
What condition were you in after leaving the military?
My name is Chris Leisinger. I’m a retired army vet of 12 years. I was a scout sniper for those 12 years. I did 3.5 years in Iraq. 16 different psych meds from the VA, as a matter of fact. 6 of them were to treat the PTSD. The other 10 were to treat the side effects of that.
I was on 16 different psych meds from the VA. 6 of them were to treat the PTSD. The other 10 were to treat the side effects of that.
Life before psychedelics was rough. I was emotionally numb. I didn’t care about anything. I actually tried to kill myself once. And my 230 pound Mastiff Repo stopped me from doing it. And when I say stop me, I had the gun in my lap. He picked it up, carried it to the back fence, dropped it in the dirt, and then sat on it.
And then when I reached to grab it, he growled and snapped at me and then coward like I was going to beat him. That was my big, aha, wake up moment through my motorcycle club, Roland Locos. That’s what got me into the psychedelics. And it changed my life. It helped rewire my brain. So that I’m off all the meds.
I can actually enjoy life again. I’m not angry. I’m actually probably one of the calmest individuals there is. It used to, I didn’t go to Walmart unless it was like three or four in the morning. Cause if you bumped into me, I’m ripping your head off because I was just so uneasy. I was so agitated, so angry.
How many ceremonies have you been a part of?
I’ve done 16 to 20 different ceremonies to the point now. I can actually help facilitate and help other people. I can dive into people’s psyche and help them clear the cobwebs. Or as I like to say, wake up from the matrix.
I’ve done mushrooms, I’ve done ayahuasca, I’ve done bufo, which is from the Sonoran Desert Toad.
I’ve done mushrooms, I’ve done ayahuasca, I’ve done bufo, which is from the Sonoran Desert Toad.
On helping your Veteran brother overcome alocohol addiction
My little brother, John, he was a Marine. He was field artillery and he had a lot of trauma. And he finally told me one day, and he was against drugs. He didn’t even smoke weed. He was like, that’s just not my thing.
He came up to me one day and said he was ready to go for a spirit walk. And I set it up with Big Mike and it completely changed his life. I pulled the gun out of his mouth at one point because he had a bad alcohol problem. Not anymore. Now he just drinks recreational and has fun with it. But two words is what changed his life. I told him to go left.
I pulled the gun out of his mouth at one point because he had a bad alcohol problem. Not anymore.
In our ceremony, him and I are both Norse Pagan. He said everything to his right was just dark and cold and creepy, but everything to the left was Valhalla. It was a feast. It was everybody he loved, everybody he cared about. And I told him, go left. That’s what he needed to hear as something as simple as two words changes someone’s life.
That’s why I’m a big advocate of it. I’m down to help anybody and everybody that needs it. I always tell people, like, three or four days afterwards, you’re going to start getting these serendipity moments, where things just start connecting, and things you didn’t realize before.
A message to other veterans who are struggling
I would tell them, you’re not alone. And one of the things I’ve told people, it’s okay to not be okay. I was a scout sniper where I was told, unless you’re dying, you don’t go to sick call. If you’ve got a sore knee, you just suck it up and drive on. And that’s part of the reason why I’m 100 percent disabled through the VA now.
Because that’s what the Army, Marines, the Air Force, that’s what they condition your mind to do. And, when people think they’re alone, they’re not.
And, when people think they’re alone, they’re not.
I was always told going to sick call was a weakness. It’s not a weakness, it’s taking care of you. Because when you’re out, you’re out. The Army, the Marines, the Air Force, it doesn’t slow down.
You’re easily replaced. The Army didn’t slow down. They had someone to fill my shoes and take my spot. Maybe they were as good as me, maybe they were better, maybe they were worse. But they didn’t slow down.
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Michael Manion, a retired first sergeant and founder of Healing Frontline Heroes Mexico, shares his transformative experiences with psychedelics, particularly mushrooms and bufo which helped him overcome post-military trauma and suicidal tendencies.
Inspired by his profound healing, Michael relocated to Arizona, connected with the Seri Comcaac Nation in Mexico and delved deeper into psychedelic therapies. Michael advocates for indigenous knowledge and highlights the importance of thorough medical screening and integration support for participants. Finally, his organization plans to expand into 30-day residential programs to offer a comprehensive healing process tailored to individual needs.
Watch: US Army Veteran heals suicidal tendenices with traditional Medicine deep in Mexico
https://youtu.be/9yLvTSOnZSY
Michael leaves the military
I am a 22 year army veteran, retired first sergeant and founder and director of Healing Frontline Heroes Mexico. Five years after the military, I was damn near 300 pounds and drinking and emotionally disconnected from myself, from my family and everything around me, just lacking purpose and suicidal.
Five years after the military, I was damn near 300 pounds and drinking and emotionally disconnected from myself, from my family and everything around me, just lacking purpose and suicidal.
My military service I ended up doing a total of 22 years. I retired in 2013. I was a combination of active duty and reserve deployment time that I spent in the military. When I left the military, it was a few years later that all of those things, just started really crashing down on me.
And I eventually found my way to plant medicine. I relocated from Atlanta, Georgia out to Arizona and I met some people that the Rollin Locos Motorcycle Club and the guys in that club are all the majority of them are combat vets and they’ve all found the the road to healing through the psychedelics.
At that point in my life, I would have tried anything to make me just feel better, just feel connected to something or back to myself. And these guys started talking about psychedelics and things like that. And I had no point of reference for it. I felt that was just stuff that a bunch of crazy people did, a bunch of hippies and whatever else.
Michael’s first psychedelic experience
The very first ceremony that I ever did was mushrooms. And that mushroom journey led into a bufo journey the next morning facilitated by a guy up in Phoenix, good guys can doing great work up there.
And that was my point of introduction to the medicine. That very first ceremony. It was just every emotional aspect of my life and it brought it all to a place where I could understand it. I could see it and I could feel it. It wasn’t easy. I cried all night, and plenty more nights after that one.
But it was the ability to feel those emotions and process them in a way that I never had that allowed me to know that it showed me that, Hey man, everything’s going to be okay. You just have to lean into some of that pain because right on the other side of it is the true joy that you’re here to experience.
You just have to lean into some of that pain because right on the other side of it is the true joy that you’re here to experience.
That deep, dark place is absolutely where you find your answers. You have to lean into that darkness to be able to find the abundance and the joy and the happiness and everything that’s right on the other side of it.
On the Veteran Suicide Crisis
If we’re being honest about it, the majority of the people who joined the military are fighting forces made up of a lot of people who, when they leave home, they’re running away from something.I was a recruiter at one time too. So I understand exactly why people do these things.
But again sometimes we leave home with a bag full of stuff over this shoulder that’s unaddressed and never touched. And then you run off, you think you’re going to run away from something, but what you’re running to is going to give you a bag full of shit that’s 20 times worse than what’s already in this one.
And then when you’re done with it all, there’s nobody there to help you unpack either one of those bags. And when you decide you want some help, if you can make that decision because That’s driven into us the whole time that you’re there. You can’t lead troops from sick call, Sarge, right?
And when you do finally get to the point where you feel like you can ask for some help and you run down to your local VA, the help they’re going to give you is going to be a death pill cocktail that’s going to make you want to kill yourself 10 times more than you did when you started and that’s the norm.
the help the VA is going to give you is going to be a death pill cocktail that’s going to make you want to kill yourself 10 times more than you did when you started
Our veterans are out there killing themselves at a rate of 22 to 50 a day.
And we know they lie about numbers. And that’s just the veterans. The total number of people killing themselves in the United States is 500- 600 more a day
Watch: Exposing the Crisis: Veteran Suicide and the VA’s Role
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Ariel Ramos, a military veteran, shares her journey from a difficult post-deployment period. Upon leaving the military and undergoing therapy, Ariel discovered microdosing DMT through the Church of Ambrosia, which profoundly impacted her life.
She describes regaining her internal monologue, experiencing vivid meditative visions, and feeling a renewed sense of self and purpose. This journey led to a significant reduction in suicidal ideation and negativity, allowing Ariel to see and embody her true self for the first time in years.
Watch: Suicidal Veteran’s Lifesaving Transformation: Mushroom Church & Microdosing DMT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SPxi5XiOwc&t=2s
Ariel describes her health after leaving military
About a year ago I got out of the military after a decade of service. After a really difficult deployment, I ended up on a 5150 hold for suicidal ideation. And my life had really been spiraling out of control for a while. And after this hold I went through outpatient I started going through therapy and I’ve pretty much just spent the last year in a self-imposed isolation, trying to really reshape my life and come back from the depths of the hell I was living in.
Ariel finds the Church of Ambrosia
October of 2023 I decided to join the Church of Ambrosia. It’s a bit of an enigma living in Alameda and being in the military, people are like, Oh, there’s like a mushroom church or whatever. And I’d always said Oh, if I get out, I’m gonna, check that out.
I had not been anticipating like finding DMT there. I just thought it was like a mushroom church. That’s what everyone always calls it. So when I saw it there, I was like, I have to get it. I don’t know if I’ll ever have this opportunity again.
Ariel’s experience with microdosing DMT
I started micro dosing DMT probably like once every two weeks and when I say the difference that it has made in my life has been absolutely profound I don’t know if there are words to truly describe that level of profoundness.
I don’t know if there are words to truly describe that level of profoundness.
I was meditating a couple of days after my first DMT microdose and then all of a sudden I could hear my own voice in my head for the first time in years. And it was like meeting an old friend I had forgotten.
It was like meeting an old friend I had forgotten
Later that night after I was like sober and whatever I was just brushing my teeth looking in the mirror and all of a sudden it was like I recognized myself for the first time since I was like a teenager and I just started crying.
I was like you. Oh my god, like I’m here and I see who I am and I’ve become like exactly who I’m supposed to be even though it was like so hard and I can like finally find like a reason to live.
I can finally find a reason to live.
Ariel’s life after microdosing DMT
I feel like I’ve completely like stepped into a new reality. Like I’m hearing people differently. I hear them as who they truly are and not as this like lens of judgment I placed over them. It has shown me the path for my life and what I need to do.
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Lauren “Lolo” Feringa is a Veteran how has been able to heal from PTSD with the use of stellate ganglion blockers (SGBs) and micro dosing with magic mushrooms. Lolo is now educating the use of these medicines to treat veterans all over the nation through her nonprofit Hippie and a Veteran Foundation.
Once you know and remember what ‘right’ feels like, you can work with other modalities – like psychedelics. When you work that in, you can literally start healing yourself, healing your brain, healing your body.
-Lolo
Watch: Combatting PTSD: A Veteran’s Journey with Psilocybin Therapy
Watch The Full Interview
What are Stellate Ganglion Blocks (SGBs)?
My name is Lauren Lolo Faringa. I am the director of Hippie and a veteran foundation, a 501 C3 that guides veterans towards alternative PTSD therapies. Some of the alternative therapies that we push people towards, or at least introduce them to, are psychedelics like psilocybin and stellate ganglion blocks.
So a stellate ganglion block is a little injection that goes into a gland on the side of your neck and they just shoot rapivocaine, which is just like another lidocaine. So it’s nontoxic. Iit blocks your nervous system off, basically shuts your fight or flight response off for 24 hours. And it gives your body the ability, or it helps your body to take a break so that you can kind of start catching up, making sense of what’s going on in your body. It separates the body issues and the autonomic nervous system problems that’s firing on, and it just shuts it off. And the next day you wake up, it comes back on, but it’s not on high. And once you know and remember what right feels like, you can work with other modalities like psychedelics. And you work that in and you’re able to start literally healing your body, healing your brain, healing your body. I had injuries, pain, chronic pain, all over my body. I’ve gotten most of it tempered down now.
How do you combine stellate ganglion blocks and psychedelics?
I have a protocol that I recommend. So there’s providers that do these specifically for PTSD and they do them with the proper technique. You get a right and a left side. Some people respond to one side better, and I don’t think it’s worth not trying both sides when we’re talking about people that are suicidal, which are the people I work with. Let’s hit everything, knock the whole nervous system out. You can’t do them within 24 hours of each other or else you’ll close off your throat.
But then you can incorporate microdosing like I do like three months of psilocybin daily micro dosing schedule between 10 and 60 milligrams based on the person’s medications and body and nervous system. We incorporate other things like skull cap teas that really help bring down the nervous system, and cannabis for night terrors.
Are there contraindications with Stellate Ganglion Blocks?
So SGBs are a chronic pain shot, so they help with blood flow throughout the body, optical nerves, all your nerves, all over your body. They can help with circulation, which is why they help with conditions like Raynaud’s. So if you have possible blood clots or something, I think that would be something that you’d want to talk with your doctor about. But other than that, it’s just an anesthetic, a local anesthetic.
How can the medical model and the psychedelic model come together?
I love the juxtaposition of our foundation’s name. It’s like hippie and a veteran. It’s the juxtaposition of these different things coexisting in the same space. I love intersectionality, and that is what we can do with these medicines.
We can pair SGBs with patients with PTSD,, a first world medicine through a regular physician, providing these along with psychedelics as a therapy with community practitioners, and personal at home microdosing. They do pair very, very well and it really sets a patient up and opens them up for therapy, whereas so many of us become just unresponsive to therapy because these walls are up.
There’s a physical problem happening within our bodies and these medications and these therapies can put it down. But with that, we have to understand that. We also have to respect where these medicines are coming from and respect what they’re doing and respect the connection to everything around us that they’re doing for us. And that’s a part of the healing.
Nature is healing and we need to marry those with first world medicine. The separation is what’s causing a problem within our medical system right now.
How is Hippie And a Veteran Foundation helping Veterans heal?
So a major part of what we do is just putting information out there andletting veterans know that they can actually do these things, like giving people permission, letting them see that the stuff actually works. We have a template that we give out to veterans so that they can request through a community care provider, through the VA. So we’re able right now to get that part partially covered in some circumstances, but even that is a struggle. But we’re going to make it work. It’s going to happen one of these days.
But the same way that we can do that, we can do the exact same thing with community practitioners that are already here, already saving lives and already providing therapy to our community within the psychedelic world. And I just think maybe the VA doesn’t understand the power within the people that we have to help heal each other.
How are you using politics to bring awareness to Veteran care?
So I’m putting in a congressional to make a case here in the state of Washington of the treatment, first of all, that veterans are receiving. And with that, I’m also hoping to get the ear of Patty Murray to speak with her about the pairing of psychedelics and SGBs. Washington state has mushrooms. They’re all about to grow right now. They’re all about to grow everywhere because it just had the first rain. We’re about to have medicine all over the state and it happens every single year. Nature provides and we need to let people know.
I know that there’s this demystification that we must do, and I’m hoping that this case that I’m putting in, or request that I’m putting in for a review of the VA here can help open up that conversation about the necessity and urgency. But we are also hoping to apply for direct grants through the VA. There is a Fox grant that I really hope and pray they’ll accept our application for. They are giving out money to organizations that are helping veterans in different holistic areas. I don’t see why they wouldn’t give one of their largest nonprofits with a giant following some money to help heal some of our little hippie veterans out there.
So that’s my big goal for the year. I’m also writing a bill with a bunch of other amazing people. And we are going to decriminalize plant medicine in the state of Washington.
If plant medicine was decriminalized in Washington State, how would this help Veterans?
Oh, well, this is the thing. There’s legalization bills. I actually tried to work on some of them. I was thrown out for requesting respect for veterans and people of color in legalization psychedelic bills in the state.
It’s not cool on that side. It’s not kosher. And they’re thinking their model is. Legalization bills are profit bills. They’re profit structures which we need for the VA. I absolutely get that 100%. But if a patient can’t take micro dosing home, what’s the point? If the patient is criminalized for holding the same medicine that they’re being prescribed by a VA physician, that’s control. That’s not healing. That’s not how this works.
I work with people in distress. I’ve worked with organizations, and I work with suicide prevention and support suicide prevention in the state of Washington.
Why is decriminalization important?
Decriminalization is for the patient and legalization is for the practitioners, the clinical practitioners that are working within the medical system we currently have. You’re asking us to take our medicine and give our medicine that our ancestors have been using. All of us.
We all have entheogens from different continents that we were all on. This is our medicine. And you’re asking us to. You’ve been criminalizing us. You’ve been throwing us in jail, my grandfather included, way back when, before the war on drugs even began. We’re doing all this stuff and then you’re going to take our medicine and colonize it within only a legalization system. And that’s just not right. Nature grows out of the ground. You don’t have criminalized tomatoes out here. That’s silly. And most tomatoes don’t just grow naturally everywhere. Mushrooms actually do.
The Earth is popping up medicine to help us in the time that we need it so bad. That is why decriminalization is important, because also, legalization bills will not happen for years and years and years after implementation. We have people right now that are dying again. I’m going to bring sad things in here, but I had two friends from high school that died this last summer, and I know that they both suffered from addiction and chronic pain. And I know my last friend that just died and was laid to rest this week, died from an overdose. He had been reaching out to me, talking to me about plant medicine, and I couldn’t do anything about it because I would have been criminalized. But now I have dead friends and that’s everywhere. That’s happening to all of us. It’s not just in the veteran community.
That’s why decriminalization is so important. We have to be able to just help our people. We’re grown ups. We know how to do this.
How is Hippie and a Veteran building bridges with the medical community?
I mean, I talk with therapists that are working within the VA doing research as well. They are doing research up and down in other places. There are people trying to do this. There are good people within the medical community that also have so much respect for where these medicines are coming from. And for the practitioners that have kept these alive in our cultures for generations and thousands of years, and they have extraordinary respect for the indigenous people here. And I think that’s a very big, important place to start, just because plant medicine isn’t about gimme, gimme, gimme. It’s a community thing. It’s not an ownership thing.
How important is integration with psychedelics and SGBs?
The first time I ever did mushrooms, like I said, then I went to basic training. That wasn’t really the best integration space to have done something like that. Or taking mushrooms and going out recreationally. Yes, you will get the physical great, amazing effects that you get. You’re going to get a boost in your serotonin. You’re going to have your nervous system calm down for a while and you’re going to have some better sleep. But if you’re not taking that time to deal with the introspection, you’re not doing the right work. When you’re taking the medicine, you’re wanting to straighten out the synapses in your brain. And the integrating, working with therapy, writing. We have people that do photography as their therapy afterwards. And those are all we’re not telling therapy and therapists that we don’t want that stuff around. We need them. That’s extraordinarily important. So the integration portion is just as important as just taking the medicine as well.
How did you first come across Stellate Ganglion Blocks?
So I was scared to go in after I had my son. I didn’t want to go in there. I was afraid that they would take my kid away from me in therapy. They had previously told me that they were going to report my mom for spanking me. So I had stopped going to therapy. I don’t know, telling me, I’m a BIPOC woman, telling me that you’re going to report my mother just seemed like just an absolute act of violence. So I didn’t want to go. I was terrified. I already have trauma with being ripped away from parents. And hen my husband was like, stop, let’s just microdose. So he brought me ground mushrooms and I started microdosing on Sundays just because I was scared to even put anything in my body at that point.
The paranoia. I couldn’t even I couldn’t even leave the house. I was having horrible agoraphobia. It was just so bad. I was so suicidal. But I couldn’t do it because I had this beautiful kid. And I’m like, I don’t want anyone else to mother my kid. Like, screw that. Everything my family’s gone through, heck no. I’m going to be here for this kid. So I started the micro dosing. It was really helpful and I was only doing it once a week. I think that if I had started doing it every day, I would have felt safer. But I was breastfeeding and I was really scared at that time. Then I saw a 60 Minutes interview about SGBs and right away I was like, they can turn your fight or flight response off. What? Why haven’t they done this? That’s the problem. That’s what PTSD is. It is your fight or flight response triggering your brain and causing flashbacks in your brain and in your body. So why aren’t they doing this for us? Luckily, I was in Long Beach at the time because I wanted to give birth to my son, where my family is from. So because I happened to be there, I happened to be in that VA, just randomly in this one year in my life, they happened to be doing SGB research out of the Long Beach VA. Then I walked in, I begged for it, and they told me no.
So I called every number I could find. But after two weeks, I finally found the research department and I asked them if they could help me, and they said, Absolutely. Then they got me in to talk and they were like, yeah, we’re going to get this for you. We’re going to call you with the next available date. And they gave me July 16, which was a decade anniversary of the first loss that I had in Iraq.
So, ten years out, I finally got relief and it felt like I could see better. My pain went away. The doctors had to hold me down on the table because I was like, what just happened? The lights got lighter. It felt like everything just fell off. All the weight. It felt like I had been carrying so much and it was just gone in an instant. And then after that, I continued microdosing and I continued getting SGBs and had to pay out of pocket. And the VA wasn’t going to help because I had to move. I moved back home to be with my mom. I needed to heal. My body had been so wrecked by them allowing my body to get like that. And I say that the VA allowed my body to get like that because we know that women experience extraordinary levels of PTSD symptoms if you have PTSD, post, postpartum, and they just let that happen to me. S I went home and I healed, started our foundation. And that’s where I am today.
What would you say to a veteran who is in a dark place right now?
20 milligrams of ground psilocybin mushrooms can help you sleep tonight. Just do it. Don’t wait, don’t wait, don’t wait. Do it today. And if you have friends, tell them. And if you don’t know how and you’re scared, go to my website. We have all the information out there. We have other people’s books, we have articles that helped me get back on track, that helped me feel safe about taking psilocybin as a breastfeeding mother. Honestly, I would never take anything else, ever. The other options aren’t safe enough for my child.
The military and the VA has known what psychedelics could do for us since the 60s and they’ve been letting us suffer all this time. And now that we have all this research that MAPS has done, all the anecdotal evidence, we have all of these healed people, why aren’t we getting it? And since we’re not getting it, I’m going back to work for the government to show them what healing with SGBs and psychedelics can do.
Where can people find out more about Hippie and a Veteran?
Our website is www.hippieandaveteran.com, and then we’re on Facebook, Instagram, and I’m also over on TikTok. And then I think on Twitter, I’m hippie and a vet, but I don’t do Twitter. I’m too old for that. You guys can send messages through social media and you can send me messages through my website
