It Was Never About the Alcohol — Meghan on Psilocybin, Addiction and Doing the Real Work
Everyone kept treating the alcohol.
Nobody asked why she needed it.
Seven treatment centers.
Fourteen detoxes.
It wasn’t until psilocybin that she finally understood what her addiction had been trying to tell her all along.
Watch The Short Story
From Artem: When I first met Meghan over a year ago, what struck me most was not just her openness about addiction, but how deeply she understood the emotional and spiritual layers beneath it. She spoke about her life with an unusual level of honesty, intuition, and self-awareness that stayed with me long after our first conversation.
https://youtu.be/3yuj6k9KMIkAbout Meghan
Meghan Bayersdorfer is a mother of three, a wife, and a yoga lover who turned her darkest chapter into her life’s mission. She now directs the McMunn Family Foundation, advocating for alternative approaches to mental health
What Meghan’s Story Explores
Addiction can be rooted in something much deeper
Meghan went to seven treatment centers and stopped at the airport bar on the way home from every one. The alcohol was never the problem — it was the solution she had found to a much deeper pain.
Struggle is not always visible
A Girl Scout leader who once faced 2 felony charges. A devoted mother who looked completely put together while barely surviving. Meghan’s story is a reminder that you never really know what someone is carrying.
Healing looked different than she expected
After years of treatment programs, detoxes, and traditional mental health approaches, Meghan describes psilocybin as one of the experiences that helped her begin confronting the deeper emotional patterns beneath her addiction.
Full Interview (1:00:00)
In Meghan’s Words
The labels of “alcoholic” and “addict” never really resonated with you. Why is that?
Meghan: It really went deeper than that. The biggest arguments I had with my dad were about willpower. He’d say, you’re so motivated, so driven — why can’t you just figure this out? And I wanted to scream, it’s not about the alcohol. I just didn’t like myself. I hated my life. I didn’t feel like I had a place here. What I was trying to find a solution to were the voices in my head that told me I wasn’t worthy, that I wasn’t capable, and that I wasn’t loved.
You’ve talked about how connection was at the root of so much of this. Can you speak to that?
Meghan: When I was 17 I actually quit drinking on my own — and everyone shunned me. My best friends turned their backs on me. And then my friend Sara died the week before graduation and we all came together and drank, and I was welcomed back in. That was the message I received: this is how you are accepted. This is how you are loved. It made me so sad to discover that. That sweet little version of me who had tried to choose a different path — and was punished for it.
What was your internal state going into your first psilocybin ceremony?
Meghan: I really didn’t care what happened. I knew that whatever the outcome was, it was going to be better than what I was living. It was a terrible experience — I swore I would never do it again. I remember thinking, oh my God, I’m stuck in this hell forever. Every inner demon came out and wanted to battle it out with me. But a couple of days later I thought, there’s something deeper that happened — and I survived. And that was enough to make me want to go back.
You Are Not Alone
If this story resonated with you, we invite you to explore more psychedelic experiences or share your own story with Normalize Psychedelics.
Explore other stories about psychedelics and addiction
About Normalize Psychedelics
Normalize Psychedelics is a nonprofit working to change public understanding of psychedelic medicine by sharing real stories of healing. Through firsthand accounts, we aim to reduce stigma and broaden the conversation around mental health and wellness.
Support Us
MAKE A DONATION
Your donation will help us publish more personal stories involving psychedelics to transform public opinion, reduce stigmas, and redefine wellness. It can also help self lives.
Power The Next Story